This week on Spoke Unsolved we look into the devastatingly horrific crime that is the theft of Sedona’s leggings. Sedona’s leggings, while she has always attempted to be a sustainable gen-z-er, were from lululemon. And while she was ashamed of it, they were her most prized possession. But on the brisk Tuesday morning of March 9th, Sedona woke up to find that some bitch stole her leggings.

Sedona was getting ready to get her coffee from her amazing local millennial-owned, exposed brick, almond-milk-only coffee shop, when she realized that her leggings were gone. She emptied all her drawers, crying and screaming that if she didn’t find her leggings, she would never leave her house again. In a fit of rage, Sedona called everyone she knew, telling them that if they didn't return her leggings, she would go “psycho crazy” on them. Talk about dramatic gen-z!

A few hours later, the leggings appeared outside her door, with a note on them reading “oops!” She fell to the floor, tears streaming down her face, soaking her newly returned leggings. She forgot all about her previous rage, but the question still remains: who stole them?

Sedona last wore her leggings to her favorite Emory Study Spot: the Sig Chi parking lot. But the unfortunate fact about this study spot is that it is also a fraternity parking lot. So, as Sedona was studying, her leggings became ridden with a mixture of beer, axe, and audi car smog that she had to change (she always brings an extra set of clothes when she studies at the parking lot.) When she came back to the study spot, she placed her leggings in her backpack, and walked to the Eagle Emporium to get a study snack. When she got back, little did she know that her leggings were gone.

The only people who could have possibly seen where Sedona put her leggings were the people in the sig chi parking lot: the sig chi brothers and the other studiers who understood the benefits of studying in the parking lot. We have narrowed down the possibilities of robbers, but still... whodunit?

When Sedona returned from her study snack, no one was in the parking lot. “Yeah I was super shocked that it was empty,” Sedona said, “especially because there’s always something strange going on.”

Because it was so empty, Sedona left. She came home, unpacked her bag, showered, and went to sleep. Little did she know that her leggings were missing.

The next day was the day of the realization; Sedona found out about her leggings. She called the Emory Forensic Team (yeah, it exists!) to assist in solving the crime. But as they went through the previous information, they overlooked the most important information: the note. “Oops!” it read.

Once they realized their grave mistake, the Emory Forensic Team interrogated each member, and did handwriting tests. They realized that the note was written by one Chad Bradley. And while Sedona felt such relief when she realized she wasn’t robbed by a close friend, the question ate her and the detectives alive: what was the motive?

When interrogating Bradley for his motive, he caved easily. “I saw really nice lululemon leggings sticking out of some backpack and honestly, ” he said, “I just wanted to wear them. I actually felt really bad about it.”

Sedona never forgave Bradley, and the leggings theft followed him for the rest of his life. He would always and forever be known as “the bitch who stole Sedona’s leggings.”